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And I'm sorry to do that two weeks in a row with tough topics, but I want to talk about what happens when you regret getting a puppy or a dog.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":403,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":403,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"bvn3e","text":" And if you hear that and think, well, I've never regretted my dog or my puppy, keep listening because there might be some instances where it pops up in your life and it's good to know how to combat it and how to be ready when you have those feelings. So let's get right into it. First off, it's important to note that emotions, feelings, they are complex and every human being is different.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":391,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":391,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"2tj0r","text":" I know that's not much of a new thought, but I want you to keep that in mind as we're talking about this topic of regretting getting a puppy, because it happens to more people than you'd think. Let me tell you my quick story. I want you to know that I've been through this personally multiple times. When we first got our dog Sunny, it was tough. It was a challenge.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":367,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":367,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"f71m4","text":" And there was a lot of moments where I felt inadequate. I felt like was I doing a good enough job, am I really cut out for this, all those feelings that can be associated with regret and regretting getting a dog. And then we brought home my wife's old dog, Buddy. And so we had two dogs. And then fast forward six months, we decided to get a third dog. And I can tell you, there were a lot of moments of regret, especially after the third dog, getting Scout.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":459,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":459,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"d9kss","text":" I multiple times out to my wife said, \"What were we thinking? Why did we do this?\" I want you to know I've been there and it's a challenge. And I'm going to talk through some of the feelings and some of the experiences, and what I figured out can be helpful when you regret a dog or a puppy. So first off, let's talk about why, why do we regret getting a puppy.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":362,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":362,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"7fndu","text":" There's a lot of reasons. And it might be obvious, but some I wanted to highlight is you're sleeping less. And whenever you're, in most cases, right? And when you're sleeping less because of a new dog or puppy, you don't think as clearly there. I'm not going to dive into that necessarily, but sleep is important. And when we're not getting it, it clouds our judgment and clouds our ability to think critically and to handle stressful situations.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":447,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":447,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"de30m","text":" Oftentimes we regret it because of financial reasons. We don't realize how expensive having a puppy or a dog can be. Another instance I know I've regretted having a puppy is just when I felt like, man, why are they destroying everything? Why is everything in my house that again, can be expensive or nice or whatever it might be, why are they all getting destroyed?","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":366,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":366,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"5aehf","text":" It's a tough feeling. And I think one of the biggest reasons, at least for me personally, why I had moments of regret with my puppies was I just felt inadequate. It was tough. It was really hard. And I felt like, am I doing this right? Is this dog going to have a good life? Am I putting this dog into a situation where they're not going to be happier or they're not going to be healthy or whatever it might be?","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":412,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":412,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"d3r6c","text":" There's a lot of feelings of inadequacy that come along with getting a puppy. And that leads to my next point of, is it normal? Is it normal to regret getting a puppy or a dog? And in my opinion. Well, normal is a word that really is different for everybody, right? Your idea of normal is different than mine, but I will say a lot of pup parents feel what you might be feeling about regretting getting a dog.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":409,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":409,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"9kiv","text":" It is something that I think happens to all us at different times and for different reasons, but it is normal. And I think that's something really important to remember that you're not a bad person for having some regret about getting a dog. If you are feeling that, you're not a bad person, you're not the only person, you're not the first person, you won't be the last.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":372,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":372,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"dnvfm","text":" And that alone is very important to understand that what you're feeling is valid and that it is something that you can work on and you can find steps to improve it. And real quick, before I move on to what you should do, I want to talk about the guilt that is associated with... That you start regretting having a puppy, and then you regret or you feel guilty that you regret your puppy, and it's just this really vicious cycle.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":429,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":429,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"einr6","text":" So I do want to clarify that guilt generally speaking is something that is there to help us make improvements and help us make better decisions moving forward. There is a type of guilt where maybe you did something bad. Maybe you yelled at your dog or you put them into a situation where they were in danger and then you started asking yourself, \"Am I adequate?","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":362,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":362,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"6rluc","text":" Why did I get this puppy? Why am I doing this?\" Those feelings of guilt, just know that it is an opportunity to improve upon maybe your actions or how you're handling your puppy. So I did want to make a note of that, that the guilt that goes along with feeling regret, it also can be normal and it's not something to, I don't want to minimize it.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":347,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":347,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"15mkn","text":" I don't want take it lightly, but it is something that can happen and it's okay. It's something that happens to a lot of us. So let's talk about what to do. Now that we've covered it is normal, why it can happen, let's talk about what to do. Because I'm going to say from my own personal experience, I've had multiple instances in my life where I have regretted getting a dog. I'll be honest.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":393,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":393,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"s8a8","text":" I love my dog so much. I really do. But there are moments where you think, why did I get a dog? Was this worth it? Is this something that I wanted to do? So here are five things that I've done to kind of right the ship when I have felt regret about getting a puppy. The first thing, you got to find the positives, whether that is the positives of your dog's behavior, the positives of having a puppy, the positives of what the puppy or dog brings to your life, what you bring to your puppy's life.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":498,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":498,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"f1iu7","text":" It can feel all bad and all wrong, but I promise that's not the case. There are definitely things that you are doing right. There are definitely things that you are doing to make your dog life great. There are definitely reasons why your puppy is happy. So find those positive things, find the moments or the instances. Even write them down, if you need to. It can be very helpful to have a list of, wow, these are the positive things of a puppy.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":447,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":447,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"9jtbe","text":" And I'll talk a little bit more about kind of remembering your why, but before that number two is to focus on the basics. So oftentimes when we start to have these feelings of regret around a dog or a puppy, it's because they're driving us crazy. We're up all night, they're peeing everywhere, they are destroying things, they are doing things that are just making our lives a challenge.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":388,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":388,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"da82j","text":" And so it's important to get back to the basics. If you're needing help with the basics, I really hope you've downloaded the Pupford app. If not, go do it now. There are so many resources and tips. All of these podcast episodes end up in the app as well. There are videos, there are paid courses. There's so much in there to help you get back to the basics. So a couple things, right?","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":385,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":385,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"84kpr","text":" Pulling from my own experiences of when I felt regret, it's again, when things are getting destroyed. Start by not leaving things out or not giving your dog too much freedom. Or maybe you're frustrated that your dog is peeing everywhere, get back on a more consistent potty training schedule. I'm not going to go into every behavior that might be causing you regret or why you might be feeling regretful about getting a puppy, but focus on the basics.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":452,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":452,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"83ual","text":" I think like most things in life when we get overwhelmed, or we start to wonder why, or what's the point of this, remembering the basics and just sticking to them. Because the basics, when it comes to our dogs are what really is going to kind of make you... is going to help move things forward. So the third thing is to find your why, or remember your why.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":358,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":358,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"461a2","text":" Before you ever got a puppy, you certainly were maybe scrolling through Instagram, or you saw a cute puppy walking down the street, or maybe you used to have dogs and you didn't for a long time. There's a reason that you chose to get a puppy. Remember it, remember that reason. When all else fails, remember the reason, think of your why.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":339,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":339,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"5efnl","text":" There's so many instances, you can read books about business and entrepreneurs or people who want to become writers or people who are going through challenges and a lot of it comes down to remembering your why. So think about that. Think about the reasons you got a puppy. And you'll find that the first one of finding positives and the third point of finding your why, you'll see some overlap there.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":401,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":401,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"dgfd5","text":" Because for me, my why was I knew that I enjoyed being around dogs. I felt happier, I felt in a better mood when I was around dogs throughout my life. And I also wanted to have companions to do fun things with. I wanted to be able to take my dogs on runs and to go on hikes with my dogs and to go to the beach and experience these adventures I guess, with my dog.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":364,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":364,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"7phpp","text":" So when the going gets tough, remember those things, remember what you're working towards and remember kind of... I hate to say the word end goal, because we shouldn't look at our puppies that way, but it's important to remember your why. It can help you in the tougher moments. The fourth thing to do when you regret getting a puppy is to find support.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":354,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":354,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"e57qo","text":" We in life, when we try to go through things on our own, it's much more challenging. And if you are in a situation where you feel like you are alone, and you feel like you're handling this new puppy and you feel kind of in the dark and by yourself there are lots of places to find support. And I think you likely already know where those are for yourself individually, but a couple of ideas would be to find new puppy friends.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":427,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":427,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"esk32","text":" If you can go to a park or you can get on maybe it's local Facebook groups or a church group or a school or an organization, or whatever, finding people who also have puppies and being able to set up puppy play dates and being able to talk to each other and vent to each other. That for me, it's so important.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":310,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":310,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"2fr96","text":" To just know that someone else is going through what you're going through and being able to talk through it and express frustration and get tips and get ideas, so, so important. You can also find it online in places like our 30 day Perfect Pup Facebook group. If you go into Facebook and search 30 day Perfect Pup, you will find that Facebook group that has over 50,000 people.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":378,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":378,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"ce1qa","text":" And I can tell you, it's been a great resource for people for finding support and just dealing with the puppy blues and the challenges and regrets of having a dog and trying to overcome those regrets and those challenges. So find support. Whoever it might be, whatever, in whatever case, find a support group. And the fifth thing is to focus on the relationship. When raising a puppy, there are so many things to worry about. There are so many things to think about.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":467,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":467,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"b8io6","text":" You've got food, you've got training, you've got vets, you've got shots, you've got all these different things that you need to do, and it can feel overwhelming. So when all else fails, focus on the relationship. Do things that are going to improve your relationship with your puppy. And whether that means things that you enjoy doing with your puppy, ideally, it's things your puppy enjoys and you can do with them.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":417,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":417,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"huva","text":" So just things like finding time every day to play with your puppy, finding time every day to take your puppy on their favorite walk or give them their favorite treat or whatever it might be just focusing in on the relationship. Because at the end of the day, that's what you're doing with your puppy, you are building a relationship.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":335,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":335,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"2vmob","text":" And just like any relationship in life, there are challenges and there are moments where you wonder is this right? Is this what I should be doing? And just trying to, I guess, double back down on the relationship side and having that connection with your puppy is going to help a lot when you have that regret. Because I've found that when you are feeling that regret, there is something special about just focusing on bonding with your dog and having fun with them.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":467,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":467,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"87l97","text":" And it often helps you get back to number three, which is finding your why. And oftentimes that companionship is what you're looking for. So let me recap those real quick. Number one is find the positives for your dog, for yourself. They are always positives. So find them, write them down. Number two is to focus on the basics.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":329,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":329,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"f5n70","text":" And that means giving less freedom, getting back to a good training regimen where you're doing it every day and consistently, focus on the basics. Number three is to find or remember your why. Number four is to get a support group and find people who can help you. And number five is to focus on your relationship with your dog.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":329,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":329,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"aeljv","text":" I want to end this episode with a personal story that I haven't told a lot of people about, but I feel like it's relevant for this podcast. Like I mentioned, I, for a long time had three dogs and we moved across the country from a house with a backyard, into an apartment in New York city with all three dogs. And that was a very, very tough time. There was a lot of challenges that came up with it. And one of the biggest challenges was our dog Buddy.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":453,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":453,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"ejl8v","text":" At the time, he was about 15 years old or yeah, 15 years old. And he developed separation anxiety when we moved here and it was tough on him. And he barked every time we left and we were nervous about being those new people in the building with a barking dog and we didn't leave our house a lot. And it was a really hard transition.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":333,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":333,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"adsn5","text":" And unfortunately, I had moments where I regretted having our dogs. And I said things out loud that now I feel terrible about. And the challenge with this and why I wanted to share that story is. And I don't want to sound too gloom and doom, but about four months after we moved to New York, our dog Buddy passed away. He was old, he got sick. That's what happens. Not to minimize it, it was the worst.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":403,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":403,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"afp8d","text":" And it's still one of the worst experiences I've ever had. But I truthfully now regret my feelings of regret more than... It's hard to articulate, but I regret so badly that I had regret over having our dogs and the challenges that they were presenting. And hindsight, it's 2020, it's easy to look back and think, wow, those times sucked but now it's a lot better. My hope is that you can build a super strong relationship with your dog.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":438,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":438,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"bt6sj","text":" And that takes time, it takes effort and it takes work. But I can tell you that there will come a time where you will look back and you will feel bad potentially about the negative feelings you had towards your dog, or any time that you were mean towards your dog or whatever it is. And I don't want to get too into the weeds on this, but I just want to make the point that the relationship that you can build with your dog, for me, it's like nothing else.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":457,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":457,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"707s4","text":" I have a lot of family and friends that I really love that are close to me, but dogs, it's different in the sense that they are so loyal and they are oftentimes so ready for whatever comes their way. And they're always there for you. And the relationship that I have with my dogs, it's I love it. It's something that's so important to me.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":339,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":339,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"1t4qh","text":" And I think like most things in life, anything worth working for and anything that is valuable and has a lot of meaning to us, it's going to take a lot of effort and work to get there and there're going to be times of challenge. And you know what? I want to say it again, it's okay if you regret getting a puppy, it's okay if you regret having a dog. I'm telling you people, it's okay to feel that. I don't want you to minimize or invalidate your own feelings.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":461,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":461,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"db6rj","text":" But I do think it's important to remember that there are so many positives that come from dogs. And working through the regret and working through the tough times, I promise it gets better. Now that my dogs are older and we've put in a lot of time and effort on training and behavior, it's a bit more of a breeze. Let's just put it that way.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":342,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":342,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"ao9s0","text":" It's a lot easier and it's a lot more enjoyable. So just know that it does get better and it's okay if you feel regret, but do those five things, keep working at it, stick to the basics, remember your why, find support, all those things, do what it takes. And you know what? If you're getting to the point where you're asking yourself, \"Do I need to re-home my dog, or can I handle this or should I not have my puppy anymore?\"","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":427,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":427,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"c3dq","text":" I can't answer that for you. But I will say that the relationship that I've cultivated with my dogs has become something that's so, so important in my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. I want to just tell you again, if at this moment you're feeling regret over getting your puppy or getting a dog, it's okay. It's okay to feel that. There are brighter days ahead.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":409,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":409,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"2n633","text":" It is... Having a dog is a valuable experience. And I believe if you keep working at it will be something that you will be so happy that you did, and you'll look back and say, \"Wow, I'm so glad that I have my relationship with my dog. I'm so glad I have my dog.\" And if you know someone who is struggling with their puppy or struggling with their dog, forward them this episode. Let them know that, hey, it's okay. Be a support for someone else.","type":"unstyled","depth":0,"inlineStyleRanges":[{"offset":0,"length":446,"style":"fontsize-14"},{"offset":0,"length":446,"style":"fontfamily-BuenosAires"}],"entityRanges":[],"data":{}},{"key":"ci1jl","text":" And that's something, if you're listening to this and you have an older dog and you're not feeling these regret or the puppy blues, find people in your area who have puppies and try to be a support for them. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you found it helpful. I hope that you have some more hope for yourself and for your dog. If you haven't already, please leave a review on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen. It's very, very helpful and I look at all of them. And other than that, we will catch you on the next episode. 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Regret Getting a Puppy? Do These 5 Things Today | Pupford